Beliefs - What Are They and How to Work With Them
What if I were to tell you that every decision, every action you take, even the way you understand your experiences with other people are all controlled by your beliefs.
Let's Break It Down:
To define a belief; it is simply something you hold to be true without having evidence to back it up. We all have a myriad of beliefs about ourselves. Our subconscious mind is the storehouse for these beliefs and our conscious mind is running on the assumption that this belief system is true.
What Does This Mean for You?
Your mind does not care whether your belief system is positive or negative, either way it is trying to look for evidence that this belief system is correct.
For example:
- Your mind will perceive events in a certain way that validates its belief, e.g. a person who believes that they are beautiful will interpret the lingering gazes of others in a different way than someone who believes they look weird and awkward
- Your behaviour will reflect your belief system e.g. if I believe I am stupid I am less likely to study for my tests or do my homework
- Your relationships with others will reflect your belief system. For example; the belief of not being worthy of love could manifest in a variety of ways - such as people pleasing or sabotaging a romantic relationship when it is going 'too well'
Our beliefs are primarily formed in childhood by the people closest to us, society, education and culture. As we have held the majority of our beliefs for as long as we can remember, it is important to learn how to identify them.
How to Identify Your Belief System?
The key to identifying your beliefs is to observe the patterns that repeat in your life. Patterns can show up in different ways and consist of your behaviours, emotions, thoughts and actions.
Some ways to look out for these patterns are:
- Understanding your emotional triggers - do certain situations make you anxious? Or maybe a certain topic of conversation makes you feel agitated and annoyed. It may annoy you when people ask you about your career because you hold the belief that you are behind in life.
- What do you judge others harshly for? Oftentimes the things we judge others for are the standards we set for ourselves. If you judge someone for being too emotional it could be from a belief that emotions are a sign of weakness.
- What automatic assumptions do you jump to? For example, assuming someone doesn't want to be your friend when they don't reply to your messages quickly.
These are a few examples of how to observe your default way of being and how this leads you to the beliefs that are behind them. What situations arise in different ways that ultimately leave you with the same feelings and thoughts?
How Do You Change Your Beliefs?
The good news is, simply being aware of your beliefs is already a huge step to changing them.
This is a process that works for me when I want to challenge and change my belief system:
- Identify your beliefs - as explained above.
- Ask yourself - Is this true? And look for the evidence in your life to dispute this belief.
- Ask yourself what you would prefer to be true. It is important to pick a statement that you can believe. E.g. If you are working on transforming the belief 'I am not ready', a good replacement could be: 'every day I am ready for the next step'.
- Rehearse your new belief - Ask yourself how would someone who holds this new belief behave and begin to embody that way of being in your everyday life. As you do this, the behaviours associated with your old belief will become evident. It is important that you take note of how they show up and correct them.
- Have compassion - changing beliefs can take time and patience, so be kind to yourself when you catch yourself falling into old ways of being, and allow yourself time to grow.
Knowledge is a powerful catalyst to change. Challenge yourself to identify your beliefs both positive and negative and see how they have been playing out in your life. Some beliefs are harder to shift than others. If you would like support on your journey, book a free 30 minute discovery call to discuss how we can work together.
Book a Discovery Call